August 26, 2016

Keeping Up Appearances: Austerity Chic

Australia's Federal government treasurer, Scott Morrison's unsurprising current rhetoric, about the "tax-haves" and "tax-nots" has made me quite jittery ...when added to other domestic matters.

So naturally have consulted one or two "gurus", and they and the universe are telling me, "I must get thee to a nunnery." Well convent actually - for a retreat. Which is all great. But there is a waiting list for the recommended one... that apparently takes in "people like me" at a special discounted rate! Which excites me. However, this convent (like many I presume), doesn't take dogs. And I have a dog. Subsequently, the dog is not excited about the convent idea.

Plus regarding said convent, I just know - however wonderful it all sounds - that after 24 hours they will - regardless - throw me out. Yes, like Maria Von Trapp in The Sound of Music...they will no doubt be glad to see the back of me, when they catch me:

1) Singing in the abbey (as if I was auditioning for The Voice),
2) Being messy,
3) Sneaking into the kitchen at night like Nigella Lawson (looking for ice cream),
4) Droning on like Woody Allen's Cate Blanchett character, in Blue Jasmine, 
5) Wanting to go home to make sure the dog hasn't caught an Uber back to the RSPCA,
6) Wanting to re-arrange convent furniture, 
7) And (like Maria Von Trapp), re-styling everyone's outfits from the curtains. As you do.

In fact now that I think about it, convent life could ultimately end up being worse than having afternoon tea at Mrs Bucket's house in that BBC TV series. Or to be more precise, worse than Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events series - and more diabolical than the series of unfortunate events that got me there, and to writing this blog in the first place!

Plus dear reader, what does one wear to a convent?

I do quite like the convent idea... But. Yes there's always a BUT. Really, to be honest, my abode is already practically a convent. You see it's hard enough, to get even a date these days... let alone a job Scott Morrison! You should try it on Newstart...and the rest. 

Although the other day, did get inundated with "Facebook Friend" requests. Actually, that's an understatement. It was bombardment. Relentless. Most from men. Some topless. I know?... Topless male profile shots. What's that about? Didn't "friend" them. Became quite choosy. Then I could take no more! And ditched them all. Bet that doesn't go on in the convent. Or maybe it does? So perhaps the convent's the place?


And don't talk to me Michaelia Cashed-Up, about the absolutely fabulous Job Network (aka JobActive) resources. Now there, I might find a date. Or at least someone on deck to do my hair (semi-up-do-style, plus smokey-eye make-up!) I found recently. But sadly, not a job.

Yes... was somewhat impressed by the plateau of skills of one particularly outstanding Job Network agency staff member. They need more like him in the business. I digress.

Ok, will tell all. His name was Vidal... and he's clearly more your Vidal Sassoon kind of guy, than say, Vidal Castro. Every Job Network "client-jobseeker" needs Vidal as their job seeking go-to person... In contrast to some of the others I've come across. Except for Monsieur, of course. Now he was more than outstanding. Alas he has moved on to other pastures. And I haven't seen him since that day in the lift.


But am happy to do what the universe wants. So moving forward, should I go with the flow of the convent idea... I still need to get my own convent-abode in order, before I pack my overnight bag.

In other words, I think I need my own Captain Von Trapp, Stubing, or one of those footmen or ladies helper people - from Downton Abbey... to sort through things, before I head for the hills with The Sound of Music theme song ringing in my ears.

Actually, I don't have a guitar, but do have a Zither and the sheet music for playing Edelweiss. So that should practically put my foot halfway in the convent door (with a further discount). Must start practicing. In fact, already know Amazing Grace, which I think makes me a definite shoe-in. 

Guidance and motivation

Now for home styling inspiration, am keen to toddle along to Esther Stewart's current (Heide Museum) exhibition aptly titled,  "How to Decorate a Dump" .

Closes 11 September 2016. And free entry. Great! Free entertainment. Have book marked on next week's go-to-list. Oh wait!.. says it's free for members. Will go anyway, as I think I need to get out more.

In How to Decorate a Dump, Stewart apparently presents a colourful, three-dimensional diorama, continuing her enquiry into the aesthetics and ethos of DIY home improvements.

Doleful living backstory

Interestingly, the exhibition's title is borrowed from a 1983 book written by New York decorator Philip Almeida. Stewart’s interest in 1970s and 1980s DIY home-renovation manuals stems from a fascination with what she calls ‘the utopian idea of domesticity’, the desire to create a personalised haven, even when resources are limited and reality falls short of our dreams. Making it the perfect place to visit for those whose only option is uber-austerity-domestic chic.

Such concerns are present in the titles of paintings like the doleful I Was Hoping for More 2016, or the more upbeat, Tacky Can Be Chic 2016. The latter a catch-phrase borrowed from Almeida’s manual.

Idealised models for living; embodied in floor-plans, flat-pack kit or display homes, even dolls houses, pop-up books and theatre sets - also provide source material for Stewart’s work.

Drawing on these ideas and uniting her sculptural and painting practices, How to Decorate a Dump astutely explores decorative vocabularies and the nostalgic fetishising of olden-day styles. As witnessed by what's hot in op-shops, and selling like freshly steamed dim-sims on e-Bay. In fact, on that topic, cannot believe what I saw for sale as a work of art - the other day. This piece described as "exquisitely hand-made" was no different to the stuff I once concocted in my Year 10 sewing class. I digress with more drivel once again.

Returning to the convent

And back at my "ranch" - in case things get out of hand, and the convent people come to take me away - I am now naturally in the middle of tidying up the palace. What! Did I say palace? I mean "place". So moving forward dear reader, I am now in full-beast, clean-up mode, with the philosophical thought and intent being: "Tidy house, tidy mind" (positives? Could lead to gainful employment).

Ulterior motive, however, is to find my mobile phone. Yes, in recent days have lost my phone! And, "What fresh hell is that!?" Said Dorothy Parker (long before the invention of the mobile phone). To be honest, the phone was only $19. Bargain. But I miss it...for various reasons. But won't go into detail.

Poetry amidst chaos

Dorothy Parker also wrote this poem, which I came across this morning as I sifted through the junk and household squalor of one of Morrison's "tax-not" unemployed people. Title quite appropriate really, in this instance (or perhaps a good guide re: what NOT to put on the resume)... 

And yes dear reader, as a bookist (aka librarian), somewhere on my shelves, I naturally happen to have the Parker biography, titled: "You Might As Well Live" - being the last line of the above poem.

Or perhaps the book is in the garage?...with my mobile phone? (Regardless, a great read).

And I need that very book, because it contains another apt quote of hers on how she arranged her massive home library. Which, in my big clean up to find my phone and prepare for the convent, now involves finding that book. Since it contained Parker's unique, no-nonsense book storage "classification system"...which I say beats the Library Of Congress system any day.

Yes, I am coming out of the closet, as a librarian who cannot even find a book in her own house. Disgusting. No wonder I can't get a job.

Alas will, from memory - paraphrase Dorothy's cataloguing system (as described in the above book). Distinctly recall Parker saying, "I tried Dewey but found that too complicated. Tried colour ...Then alphabetizing by title. And found that also a waste of time...So came to conclusion that the best arrangement was organising books in two distinct categories, with the first being: Crap, and second - everything else in between."

And so it went... books that were "crap" were shelved on one side of her home library, and "everything else" - was shelved on the other side. One day I will find the book... re-read and get exact quote.

And that's my household tip for the day.

And so ends my doleful living, austerity chic missive.

Mobile phone remains lost in space though.

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August 24, 2016

Incarceration Is The New Black: The Gang's All Here! [By Guest writer, Monica]

Well we're all here, except for the "head on the desk" girl. I've discovered that there is an earlier group in the day, and she may well be in that group. We've also got one of the participants from that group in our later group today.

Given we are all here, I suspect that the role-plays about job interviews are going to happen today. A couple of people scuttle in late and are promptly berated for that, even though they are coming by public transport - and it's likely that buses, trains etc were full, and or didn't stop or, our incarceree's couldn't find a place on the transport.

But first I want to talk about politics and poverty.

Last week there was a photo - circulating in the media - of Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull, handing out $5.00 to a homeless man . In one hand the Prime Minister had a $5.00 dollar note, in the other hand, was a wad of cash.

There was a bit of a firestorm on social media sites with messages that ranged from..."leave the man alone” ”It's his money he can do what he likes.”

And then there were those that pointed out the PM's stinginess, given he had so much money tucked away with the other hand. The Prime Minster defended his actions saying he felt sorry for the guy.

The more complex, and really the most important issued, is that giving $5.00 to a man will feed him only for one meal. Give him well funded access to services, that help him get his life back on track, and he will be able to feed himself for the rest of his life.

The facts the Prime Minister is not sorry about - are that his government has cut funding to a range of homeless support groups and other social services - which this homeless person needs, in order to improve his situation. His government has also created one of the most punitive welfare policies this country has seen in decades: forcing people off payments, and creating the very situation that this person finds themselves in.

Five dollars just doesn't cut it.

The first order of business for the government when it resumes, is to remove $4.00 a week from all new welfare recipients, the unemployed, and other pensioners alike.

It's claimed that the 'carbon tax energy supplement' is no longer needed because the carbon tax has been removed. However, the much touted argument by the then Prime Minister Tony Abbott, that energy prices would fall, hasn't happened. In fact it's the opposite.

Others say the real reason for the cut is to help pay for the NDIS. Taking $4.00 away from people who really desperately need it and giving $4.00 dollars to people who earn $80,000 or more, and don't really desperately need it, is indefensible. It also contradicts the Minister for Social Services argument that welfare needs to be sustainable for future generations.

So I sit and wonder what's in store for us in the group in our forth week. The program facilitator leaves the room. And as she's scurrying away to get supplies, says we are going to play a game. I mutter something under my breath that rhymes with 'cheeses', to which one participant overhears and repeats what I said ...and laughs.

The facilitator enters the room and takes her seat handing out pieces of paper and pens and pencils. We are asked a series of questions about each participant in the group, most of whom we don't know very well. Questions like: Who likes chocolate? Who likes pets? Name each of the participants? And so on and so forth. 

We then have a group discussion about each of these questions, and who got them right.

We're then asked to score our answers but nobody had been writing down points, because we weren't asked too.

Apparently our scores are supposed to reveal great insights into our listening skills. If we're never given the opportunity to get to know our participants, not even introductions or name tags how the hell are we suppose to answer those questions?

I half expect to be asked what star sign we each are ...and what that reveals about our barriers to employment. We're next asked to draw: a cube, a circle, and place a dot inside it. Plus a cylinder. 

These again are supposed to reveal our listening skills and attention to detail. We are next asked to draw a picture. And we are then quickly asked to hand the drawing to the person next to us, and add to the picture. The only thing any of this reveals is a waste of our time and energy. And a waste of the large sums of tax payer money going to these organisations. Not to mention revealing that the young man sitting next to me, is becoming more irritable by the moment ...and I half expect him to blow a head gasket.

After irritating most of the participants for at least an hour, the next task was for us, is to do role plays for interviews. This would be ok, if it was actually about a role play for an interview. But what it was about was trying to negotiate with a bank employer in giving you a stool in which to sit on if you were employed. It was pointless and irrelevant. 

Mr Double Masters in the group, then went on a monologue about how he has employed people in positions where they have to stand. He talked about most of the customer service roles in supermarket chains providing the check out chicks with carpet on which to stand on account of their varicose veins. How lovely and caring of him. On and on he went about running his own business and blah! Blah! Blah! ...until our case manager said, “Enough about you.”

The best was saved for last. We were going to learn about 'work place culture'. I remember in my first or second session, I answered a question about work place culture, and was promptly told that I could be seen to be not politically correct.

Unfortunately what the case manager had confused this with was 'cross cultural differences in the work place' - which is something different again. And that was what this part of the session was about. After some rather interesting and useful information on different cultural customs, we were asked to watch a video on the computer.

After asking for pass words to access the computer, we were given a long lengthy internet address to type into the search engines location. Nobody was having any success and really the best way to do it was bring up the search engine and type in youtube and then crosscultural into the youtube location. 

Someone managed to find the video, only because it was left in the search history from a previous participant, in a previous group. And if we got half a minute into it, our computer would frustratingly go into timed out mode, and would go onto the next video in the session ...which was totally irrelevant.

End of session thank the lord and cheeses. 

August 18, 2016

When Life Gives You Lemons Make Lemon Self Saucing Pudding! [Austerity Cooking with Patty O'Door]

I recommend this pudding for those who like things bitter sweet. Much like life on unemployment benefits and nasty mutual obligation activities. Although, those are more on the bitter side aren't they hmmm?.

If your neighbour has a lemon tree that's within reach, like mine ....well! even better for those who are budgeting hard core.

This little magic pudding is essentially a batter base with a lemon sauce poured over the top that thickens whilst it's cooking in the oven.


  • Batter Base
·      1 cup self raising flour
·       salt (a pinch)
·      12 cup caster sugar
·      1 teaspoon lemon rind (grated)
·       2 tablespoons butter (melted and mix in milk and vanilla)
·       12 teaspoon vanilla essence, or extract
·      12 cup milk

  • Sauce

·      13 cup sugar (could possibly cut this by half)
·      1 teaspoon lemon rind (grated)
·       1 cup water (boiling)
·      12 cup lemon juice (about 2 lemons)


1. Preheat oven to 180°C.

2. Grease a 4 to 6 cup casserole dish (deep sides).

3. Batter Base - sift flour and a pinch of salt together and then add sugar and grated lemon rind, mixing well together.

4. Stir in melted butter , vanilla and milk mix and stir until all flour mix is incorporated.

5. Pour into prepared casserole dish.

6. Sprinkle this batter mixture with 1/3 or less, cup of sugar and a teaspoon of lemon rind.

7. Combine the boiling water and lemon juice and carefully spoon some of over the batter and sugar lemon rind topping, until fully covered and then pour the rest of the mix over the back of the spoon.

8. Bake for 30 to 40 minutes and let stand for 5 to 10 minutes before serving (very 
    important to allow the sauce to thicken or otherwise will have runny liquid).

9. Serve with cream and or icecream

And enjoy...It's Zingy!

via flickr

Lemon image via flickr

August 14, 2016

Bread & Butter Pudding: Austerity Cooking [With Patty O'Door]

There's nobody here but us chickens! I'd love to have my own chickens so that I could just walk up to the backyard and say …."drop and roll, my sweeties, mummy needs some eggs... I'm going to do some cooking!” I rent my property so that's a no go for me. Also, I know you can't ask for eggs on demand from chickens. So it's off to the austerity shops for me.

via flickr

Austerity living: a backstory

Did you know that the Unemployment Benefit was first introduced in Australia in 1945. It was so low that people out of work had difficulties paying rents and putting food on the table. Dole recipients often grew vegetables in their backyard and housed a few chickens just to try to make ends meet.  This was of course against the rules and you could lose your benefit if you did. In those days, the social security officer would travel around checking to see if people were abiding by the rules. Often kids or someone else in the neighbourhood would be the 'look out' and alert everyone when the dole man came calling, so that the chickens and gardens and extra bits and pieces people used to keep food on the table could be hidden. Nothing much has changed we're all still trying to keep the wolf from the door and put food on the table.

There's nothing better than one of Patty O'Door's bread and butter puddings when your feeling cold and a bit down.

  • 4 egg
  • 2 cups milk
  • 300ml cream
  • 1/4 cup caster sugar
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  •  8 thick slices white bread, crusts removed
  • 40g butter, softened
  • 1/2 cup sultanas
  • Two tablespoons of sugar to sprinkle on top of mixture

Step 1

Preheat oven to 180°C/160°C fan-forced. Grease a 5cm-deep, 17cm x 28cm (base) baking dish. Whisk eggs, milk, cream, caster sugar, vanilla and cinnamon in a bowl.

Step 2

Spread both sides of each bread slice with butter. Cut each slice in half diagonally. Arrange half the bread in rows in prepared dish. Sprinkle with half the sultanas. Repeat with remaining bread and sultanas.

You can arrange the bread in your baking dish however you like. You can have each slice sitting up diagonally like little sails or flatten them out.

Step 3

Pour egg mixture over bread. Sprinkle with sugar. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes or until golden and set. Serve.

Serves six small pieces or four large. Drizzle with cream, it's totally yummy. You can also serve it with Patty O'Doors stewed apples. That's a recipe for next time.

August 12, 2016

Incarceration is the New Black: And then there were two [By Guest writer Monica]

More tales from the indefinite incarceration program for the unemployed...

Australia’s economy is like a ghost ship drifting towards disaster with nobody at the wheel. Plus! We've got a dead set loon as a senator. How did he get that gig?! I wanna know! He must have some kinda you beaut resume and kick ass interview skills. We could do with those. Maybe our Job Active Network Provider might bring him into the group as a guest speaker to tell us how it's done.

That happened once, dead set true. Some bloke who was once claimed a high flyer...lost all his money, and left hospital with a plastic bag full of his only possessions and a five dollar note. Subsequently, he was a guest speaker at a job club I once was mandated to attend. A miraculous tale of clawing his way back from the brink of near death to be successful again.

He was there to motivate us, because apparently we're a bunch of dead beats who can't motivate ourselves. Of course, he then went on to try to sign up every single person in the group to some kind of sham pyramid selling organisation. He was so bloody obvious from the start. Had a flair for speaking, no substance, and I'm pretty sure I recognized him on one of those current affair shows where a journalist is running along behind someone or sticking a microphone in their face, peppering them with questions about rorting someone out of their hard earned savings. You'd think we'd get an apology from the employment provider, but oh know, just a ….."well that was interesting wasn't it, he's a colourful character isn't he?”

Anyhoo! one economist has predicted a recession for next year. He also predicted the GFC, and another, has said that when a recession hits, the inadequacies of the network of charitable and for-profit providers of "employment services"- AKA Job Network Providers will be exposed. Hooray!!

This all sounds like great news for the unemployed doesn't it. So today in our incarceration group it's just me and the old geezer. And with the case manager that makes three. Today it's all about the resume.

We were supposed to be doing role plays this week but since there's only two of us that's been put on the back burner. Probably for next week, depending on who shows of course.
We go through a series of questions about the difference between a CV and a Resume. The kinds of things that make these stand out from the pack. The usual stuff about formatting. Not to make the resume too long.
I mention that some jobs I've applied for have stated that they want at least 4 pages but no more. Case manager disagrees and says that employers never ask for more than 2 pages. I was to understand that decades ago hobbies were listed, but are no longer relevant. Case manager doesn't think so, and obviously likes them and says that they can give an indication of what sort of person you are. You have to remember that if you've been unemployed for sometime, many hobbies fall by the wayside because they cost money. Where once, people might have belonged to sporting groups, engaged in vigorous and interesting activities, or loved going to the cinema to catch an engaging and thought provoking film, most of us now, just look forward to a decent healthy meal, and a Bex and a lie down. Not a good look on the resume.
Another mistake is to make a bold opening statement about who you are and what kind of career progression you wish to make. This might be ok if your targeting a particular organisation and your already employed. But if you do this, when your unemployed,you run the risk of a potential employer saying we can't provide that for you here.
Today's session is quite short, which is a relief. I suspect the case manager enjoys these groups as it gives them variety in the otherwise drone and monotony of sitting at their desk staring at a computer screen - filling in endless pieces of data to ensure their clients are complying with their mutual obligation activities.
At the end of each session we are asked if we have any questions and I always ask about potential employment, networks, training, education, etc. that I have been asking for weeks. And am told that my case manager will find out and get back to me.
I realise they are busy, but how am I ever going to get work or the support I need if they never follow up. My case manager this time points me to a employment portal that is guaranteed to have work that I would be interested in. I have lots of those at home anyway, specialist professional ones. We scroll through the jobs and I ask if my case manager can write the name down so that I can take it home and do my own searching.
When I get home, I discover that it's not some secret special employment website at all. It's exactly the same as Seek, Indeed and others. It's just a database and search engine that collates advertised jobs. Many of the jobs are old and the applications have closed. I couldn't help but shake my head when the add stated to upload your resume of at least 5 pages.

image via flickr


Incarceration if the New Black: For the love of bitches

Incarceration Is The New Black

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You Used To Give Me Roses: Mutual Obligation A Love Story?

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August 9, 2016

It's Census Night. And oh no ! I've slept through it !

Yes it's that time people. Australian Census day. When all of our information is collected (according to many, under duress), and people go about quite confused. Particularly confused this year, as now it's to be completed online. Which is great!... if you have access to a computer ...know how to use one and so forth.

Earlier in the day I visit an elderly neighbour who has no computer. But they tell me that's ok, as they've been sent a hard-copy from the ABS (Australian Bureau of Statistics).

All good I say to my neighbour Denise, since she lives alone - that is she won't have to fill out the details of say, one of those blended families - like the Brady Bunch - in which case it potentially could take her five hours (or even days) to complete. And I offer to help her complete it myself.

The hard copy

So I ask Denise for the hard-copy census form - which apparently are provided freely to those not completing the form online. Denise goes and gets the envelope sent out from the ABS. I open it, and find it startling that the census is made up of one page. Alas, it's predictably a letter from the ABS informing people to go online. And I think, shock, horror - oh no! ...since apparently if you don't fill it out - the ABS has forewarned all and sundry, that there will be penalities!!! for Census refusniks. 

So I naturally call my local council - as they are supposed to know everything. But lady on the desk has no idea re: where to get the hard copy version of the census form. Although she's keen to tell me about the hard rubbish collection. 

Then I implement my reading skills, skim the letter from the ABS - prepared not to be surprised if there's just a website address to go to - and delightfully find they've actually listed a telephone number.

I call the number. And for goodness sake... on Census day - wouldn't you expect to get a human telling you where to get your census form? Naturally, I get a recorded message, and I thank goodness it's not the Telstra Lady. Although wouldn't mind if it was the Amex Lady. I like her. She has one of those deep, sensible 1950s Margaret Rutherford toned voices. Enjoyed her work in the 1952 original version of The Importance of Being Earnest. I digress. I digress a lot lately.

Meantime, back on the phone at the ABS, the automated message lady, calmly says, "they at the ABS, are too busy to take calls right now, or today at all, and that those completing forms and handing them in late, will not be penalised." Joy!

Wake In Fright (not the movie)

So it's all well and good then. And I tell Denise this pleasing nugget of information and go home. And after a busy morning take one of those afternoon naps ....and like the film, several hours later "wake in fright" thinking - oh no! ...I've slept through census night and I've forgotten to fill out the form! And typical, I will get penalised... all because I did what many do on a cold, windy Melbourne afternoon - which is to have a refreshing extended nap.

Thing is, I'm also jobless. And being penalised for me - for not completing said form - before the midnight hour, as one with no money in the kitty - is akin to "do not pass go" and catch an Uber and go straight to jail. (Yes just like playing Monopoly for post gen-Pokemon readers, who'd have no idea what I am talking about). But more to the point, outcome of not completing the form by close of business, could potentially be similar to breaching the rules of the Australian social welfare system. Hell no! my post Pokemon, feral (to be avoided at all costs) neighbour would say.

Home alone benefits

So here I am, bolt upright - at my computer. Ready to do what I can - statistically -  for my king and country and of course, for the Australian Bureau of Stats. Although being a barefoot joblessa, in the spinster-home-alone category (except for one dog) - this is the one day of the year am glad to be uber-unattached, desperate and dateless. Just felt like adding that last bit for fun. However, I do wonder if that aspect is covered in the census. In other words, am glad to be unencumbered (for census purposes) by assorted second or even third husbands of friends - who had happened to pop in tonight, with children from assorted relationships (after which the detail can get all too confusing... let alone downright complicated - explaining it on a census form). During which, one's Census night household could erupt into an Alfred Hitchcock directed form of Family Feud.

So makes me so glad ...gloriously glad to be in the spinster category tonight. And I expect completing the form to be a walk in the park the saying goes.

So off to the ABS online I go at 10.21 pm. Check ya later. But wait ...being the worry wart that I am, what if there's a power outage? other words - all systems go down and am left with a romantic candle-lit evening - but no internet action?

Will worry about that later.

Oh no am back again. Thinking, this is like doing my tax, or completing a 3,000 word essay. Meaning, I need survival food. I need at least one box of Pringles to fuel the job. 

Can I do it without the Pringles? And oh dear... time is running out. In one hour it will be midnight! Must fly people.

Murphy's Law

Oh dear, it's 11.20 pm, and I still haven't been able to access the ABS online census thingy. Subsequently, being a top-gun librarian googler.... I google. Alas, according to this just-in-time news on-line news source - headline reads, "Census 2016: ABS website crashes in #censusfail." WT?!

So it appears - regarding the census -  all ABS systems are DOWN!! And I have no Pringles to curb my frustration.

I wonder is it a hoax? Do I dial 000? Or perhaps Doctor on Call who could certify me as too ill to complete the form?

But soon discover, it's not just me this time - appears the ABS online census facility has slept through entire thing as well.

Not happy Jan.  And it's now 11.48 pm. I hear rumblings and strange noises in the street. Meaning - quite possibly - riots and mayhem could break out from such a shambolic statistical conniption. Well in my street anyway. Now the dog is barking ...meaning strange things are afoot outside.

Time for bed now. It's all too much. 

Some VERY Useful information 

Census 2016: Will you be fined if you don't complete survey

The Australian census website is down (from Gizmodo)

Photo via flickr